Day 37.

Today seems like a good day for some more reader mail.

jerrybsleepy22 writes,

“Bro, if I was u i’d call a psychiatrist immediately. U obliviously is crzy son. u dig, homie?”

Jerry, thanks for the advice. I’m not a big fan of the tone of your question, but I do think it’s a valid question regardless. In response, I’d have to say that I’m feeling pretty good of late, so I don’t think I need a shrink right now. Also, I’m not sure what calling anyone would accomplish, considering I’m unable to speak. Just saying.

Garth writes,

“Are you finding it harder to type? I am amazed that you can type as well as you do with no spelling errors or grammar flubs. Especially considering you can’t even speak. Count your minor blessings, I suppose.”

Garth, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt here and assume you’re not meaning to come off as snarky. So I’ll take your question at face value: yes, typing has been a bit of an adjustment, but nothing too bad. I’ll say this much, it’s definitely one of the easiest things I’ve had to deal with lately.

Daniel Larusso writes,

“i really want to know what made u turn into whatevz you are, but you sed youd tell us later rite?

but i will have to wate i guess

is there any way you can tel us wut u did in ur life befor u turned all deadish and stuff?

u dont have to if u dont want to

peace out buddy and im liking the blog “

Hi Daniel, thanks for writing. You sound about 13. I noticed your took your handle from The Karate Kid. I hope my blog isn’t giving you bad dreams. Anyway, I’m not sure I ever said I’d disclose what exactly happened to me, but I do plan to provide more details when the time is right. As for what I did in my life before I “turned all deadish and stuff,” I’ve chosen not to reveal that quite yet. I haven’t decided yet if it would be unprofessional of me to do so.

Monoxide writes,

“I meant no offense by what I said but I don’t take it back. I will just attribute your hostility to your frustration with what you have become. Never in a million years could we even begin to understand what you are going through (unless one of us gets turned which very well could happen). We are all just collectively trying to help but the only person that can help you is yourself. We are not in your position so I guess the only question to be asked is…..What is your plan?”

You’re right about my hostility, Monoxide, and I do apologize for my harsh responses in the previous mailbag. With my condition, it’s tough trying to keep my cool sometimes. But I understand that that’s no excuse for me to be rude, so I really am sorry. As to your question, I feel like any plan I have changes daily. I mean, I have some long-term goals, but for now I think I need to just keep a level head and stay put.

whatistechnoagain writes,

“While you’re stuck in your apartment, maybe you can research some remedies online. There’s got to be something out there on the internet, right?”

Hi whatistechnoagain. Thanks for writing. I’m not sure if there’s anything out there on the internet that could ease my condition. I’m going to give that a try and let you know what I find, but I’m keeping my expectations low. Thanks for the suggestion, though.

Josef Kavalier writes,

“What were you listening to?”

Thanks for writing to me, all the way from one of my favorite novels! “Josef,” I was listening to The Grateful Dead’s American Beauty. Great CD. Definitely up there on my top 10.

Slewo Oshana writes,

“Ah crap, sorry to hear that happened to you man. But it doesn’t sound like it’s entirely a bad thing from what her reaction was I think this can only help you out since she doesn’t see a freak she sees a friend in need. You just have to find some way to communicate, figure out how to work it to your advantage okay?”

Slewo, thanks for putting a positive spin on that whole ordeal. I got a bunch of similar questions about this, so I’ll try to answer all of them in this response. Anyway, Slewo, for me, it was an awful, painful situation, but I can see how you might think she saw a “friend in need.” That’s a nice way of putting it. Maybe you’re right, maybe that’s what she was thinking. Unfortunately, I can’t really go out there and ask her, I can’t communicate with her as you put it, because in doing so I’d have to find out if I did really infect her and I just–I can’t face that right now. I want to believe I just overreacted at the time and that I didn’t actually infect her, but the thought of finding out for sure is sort of terrifying. I realize that makes me a coward, and maybe a little bit of an asshole, but at least it’s the truth.

Finally, redhollywood writes,

“what happend with lily?”

Definitely a story for another day. Way too depressing to get into at the moment. Plus, I came off as enough of an asshole in the response above and answering this question in detail will just make me seem that much worse. I don’t think my ego can take that additional hit right this minute. I’m trying to still stay positive.